Coaching is the skill of helping an individual to fulfil their potential by overcoming internal obstacles. As a tool, coaching is now more important than ever for assisting people in their personal development, enabling them to adapt to the ever-changing demands of the modern world.
Unlike mentorship, in which the focus is on the mentor passing knowledge to their mentee, coaching aims to focus on the experience of the coachee, building the coachee’s personal autonomy and motivation by asking the right questions.
When effective coaching questions are posed, there are at least five benefits:
1. Inherent Expertise Lies Within the Coachee
The most profound understanding of a person’s challenges and strengths lies within themselves. Coaching leverages this self-knowledge to unlock potential.
2. Enquiry Fosters Commitment
The essence of coaching is to engage individuals in finding their motivation rather than providing them with prescriptive advice. This approach is rooted in the understanding that personal investment in solutions enhances motivation and adherence to change.
3. Questions Empower
By soliciting an individual’s insights and demonstrating genuine respect for their input, coaching sends a potent affirmation: “Your insights are valued. Your capabilities are trusted. Your achievements are within reach.” This acknowledgment can inspire individuals to surpass their perceived limitations.
4. Questions Catalyse Leadership Growth
Prompting individuals with inquiries like “What steps can you take?” shifts their reliance from external guidance to internal direction, fostering a culture of self-leadership. This nurtures the ‘responsibility muscle’, essential for developing leadership qualities.
5. Questions Strengthen Authentic Connections
The nuanced art of asking, coupled with attentive listening, not only seeks to understand but also to establish a genuine connection. It reflects a dedication to truly grasp and appreciate the person’s authentic self, thereby strengthening the coach-coachee relationship.
The Essence of Coaching
Coaching is a dynamic and growth-oriented relationship that supports individuals in navigating challenges and achieving goals. In ‘Coaching for Performance’, Sir John Whitmore provides an in-depth exploration of coaching, highlighting the GROW model as a cornerstone for the coaching process. This model prompts a journey through establishing clear, attainable Goals, scrutinising the current Reality, expanding the horizon to consider all possible Options, and fortifying the Will to take action. It’s a cycle that not only guides but empowers individuals to move from aspiration to tangible achievement.
Whitmore’s philosophy moves away from directive approaches, focusing instead on facilitating self-discovery and empowerment through skillful questioning. Active listening and empathy are key, fostering an environment conducive to self-exploration and learning.
Feedback, according to Whitmore, should guide improvement rather than criticise, maintaining the coachee’s self-respect. Trust and confidentiality are critical, creating a safe space for honest self-assessment and growth.
Coaching is seen as a holistic process, integrating personal and professional dimensions, ensuring that development is aligned with the individual’s values and beliefs. It is also a reciprocal journey, with both coach and coachee learning and evolving together.
Whitmore also suggests that coaching can positively impact organisational change, with the adoption of a coaching culture leading to a more engaged, motivated, and excellence-driven workforce.
In Tony Stoltzfus’ book, ‘Coaching Questions: A Coach’s Guide to Powerful Asking Skills’, he shares several highly useful questioning techniques and templates that coaches can adapt to their own practice:
Use Open-ended questions
Open-ended questions are powerful for two reasons: they give the person being coached the reins to steer the conversation because these questions can be answered in various ways, and they encourage deeper thinking, resulting in more elaborate answers. Closed questions, on the other hand, can limit dialogue if used excessively, as they tend to lead to brief, often one-word answers.
To transform a closed question into an open one, be mindful of the questions you pose. If you notice you’re about to ask a closed question, pause and reformulate it. A simple method to do this is to start your question with “what” or “how”. For instance, instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no, ask “What steps can you take to preserve family time in the evenings?” or “How might your life be different if you decide to add this to your responsibilities?” You could also ask “In what other ways might you tackle this issue?” or “What other possibilities might you consider?” This way, you encourage a more engaging and thoughtful conversation.
The Observation and Question technique
The Observation and Question strategy is another effective technique. Listen closely for a key point the individual shares, echo their words back to them, and encourage them to delve deeper. For instance, you could say, “I heard you say ______________. Could you elaborate on that?” To keep the conversation flowing naturally, mix up your phrasing with alternatives like, “Could you explain further?” or “What’s the story behind that?” This method helps maintain the emphasis on the individual’s thoughts and perspectives, rather than showcasing the coach’s skills.
Keep the conversation on track
As a coach, it’s important to guide the conversation effectively. If the person you’re coaching starts to wander off-topic, it’s your role to gently steer them back to the main point. One proactive approach is to have a frank conversation about staying on topic and agree on a signal for when interruptions may be needed. You might say something like, “I was intrigued by what you said earlier about ________. Can we explore that further?” or “I appreciate your enthusiasm and detail. Is it okay if I jump in now and then to help us stay focused on our goals?”
Avoid “Why” Questions
Questions starting with “Why” can sometimes make individuals uncomfortable because they feel like they’re being questioned about their intentions. For example, asking “Why did you do that?” might make someone feel like they have to defend their actions, which could lead to defensiveness. A more effective approach is to use “What” instead. This shifts the question to focus on the situation rather than the person’s motives.
Here’s how you can rephrase “Why” questions into “What” questions to keep the conversation open and non-confrontational:
Instead of asking, “Why did you turn down the job?” try “What reasons influenced your decision to turn down the job?”
Swap “Why do you think she’d react that way?” with “What makes you think she’ll react that way?”
Rather than “Why can’t you discuss this with him?” go for “What’s holding you back from discussing this with him?”
Concluding thoughts…
In wrapping up our exploration of the transformative power of coaching questions, we come away with a reinforced understanding of their pivotal role in catalysing personal and professional growth. From transforming ‘why’ into ‘what’ to engaging through open-ended questions that encourage deep thinking and ownership, these insights collectively reveal a fundamental truth: the most profound coaching emerges from a place of curiosity, understanding, and the thoughtful application of questions that drive introspection, decisive action, and transformative change. Embracing these principles within our coaching endeavours enables us to tap into the formidable force of inquiry – a force that sets individuals on a self-directed course of continuous self-discovery and growth and.
