It can feel awful when someone you love is grumpy with you. Maybe a parent snaps, a teacher sounds sharp, or a friend slams a door. It is easy to think, “I’ve done something wrong. This is my fault.”
But what if their anger isn’t really about you at all?
Lesson Summary
There is an old story about a man named Androcles and a fierce lion. Everyone in the village believed the lion was dangerous and full of hate because it roared so loudly every night.
One day, Androcles took shelter from the rain in a cave – the lion’s cave. He thought he was finished. But instead of attacking, the lion lay there, miserable. Androcles looked more closely and saw the truth: a long, sharp thorn was stuck deep in the lion’s paw. The lion wasn’t roaring from hate. It was roaring from pain.
People had misunderstood the lion. They thought the roars were about them. Really, they were about the thorn.
The video explains that angry people can be like this lion. They may shout, slam doors, or use a harsh tone – but often, something inside them is hurting. We cannot see their “thorn,” but it might be there: a stressful meeting, a tiring day, money worries, feeling unwell, or being really, really tired.
A thousand years ago, the philosopher and doctor Ibn Sina (Avicenna) wrote about how every person has two parts:
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An outside part – what we see: the face, words, actions.
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An inside part – the hidden soul, where worries, hopes, and sorrows live.
Because we only see the outside, we never know the whole story of another person. So when someone is cross with us, we might be wrong about the cause. It may not be us at all. It may be their invisible thorn.
The challenge from the video is simple but powerful:
Next time someone is grumpy, pause and quietly ask yourself:
“What thorn might be hurting them?”
Then decide: Could I be kind? Could I give them space? Could I try to understand, instead of instantly feeling attacked?
Sometimes the bravest thing is not to roar back, but to notice, to wonder, and – if we can – to help.
Rationale: Why This Matters for Character and SEL
Learning to see the “thorn” behind someone’s anger is really about empathy and perspective-taking. In character education and social-emotional learning (SEL), these skills are linked to better friendships, fewer conflicts, and stronger mental health.
Researchers like Berkowitz & Bier have shown that effective character education helps children think about others’ feelings and motives, not just their own. And SEL programmes highlight the importance of understanding that behaviour is often driven by emotions we cannot see.
When children realise that a parent’s bad mood might come from a stressful day, not from disappointment in them, it can:
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Reduce feelings of guilt and shame.
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Encourage calmer, kinder responses.
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Build stronger, more compassionate relationships at home and at school.
In short, noticing the “lion’s thorn” helps children and adults live together with more patience, understanding, and love.
Reflection Prompts
Use these to reflect on your own life, or as family/class discussion starters:
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Can you remember a time when someone was grumpy and you thought it was your fault? What might their “thorn” have been?
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Has there been a time when you were the lion – roaring because you were tired, stressed, or hurting?
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How might your reaction change if you first asked, “What thorn might be hurting them?” instead of “What did I do wrong?”
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What is one small way you could “not roar back” this week – at home, in school, or with friends?
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How might remembering Ibn Sina’s idea of the “inside” and “outside” help you be more patient with others?
2. Good Citizens Club Lesson Plan (30 minutes)
Theme: The Lion’s Thorn – Understanding Other People’s Anger
Age Group: 8–12
Duration: 30 minutes
Resources: Whiteboard or flipchart, markers, scrap paper or notebooks, pencils. (Optional: small slips of paper/sticky notes.)
A. Starter – “Outside vs Inside” (5 minutes)
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Draw a simple stick figure on the board and label it “OUTSIDE”.
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Ask pupils:
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“What are some things you notice on the outside when someone is grumpy?”
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Collect answers (e.g., loud voice, crossed arms, stormy face, walking away).
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Now draw a heart or cloud inside the figure and label it “INSIDE”.
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Ask:
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“What might be happening on the inside that we cannot see?”
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Guide pupils towards ideas like being tired, worried, sad, embarrassed, or stressed.
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Briefly connect this to the video:
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“Today we’re thinking about the ‘lion’s thorn’ – the hidden hurts that can make people roar.”
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B. Main Activity – “Invisible Thorns Role Play” (15 minutes)
Goal: Practise noticing that anger may come from hidden problems and choosing kinder responses.
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Explain the concept (2–3 min):
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Remind pupils of the Androcles and the lion story: everyone thought the lion hated them, but really it had a thorn in its paw.
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Link to real life: “Sometimes people roar at us because they have an invisible thorn – something hurting them inside.”
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Set up pairs or small groups (2–3 min):
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Put pupils in pairs or groups of three.
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Give each group one “thorn card” (you can write these quickly on slips of paper). Examples:
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Slept very badly
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Had a test that went wrong
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Fell out with a friend
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Got blamed for something they didn’t do
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Parent was late to pick them up
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Worried about someone who is ill
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Role play (7–8 min):
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One pupil in each group is the “lion” with the invisible thorn (they read the card secretly).
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Their job: act a short scene where they are grumpy with a friend or family member (the other pupil). They must not say what the thorn is.
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The other pupil’s job:
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First, react in a typical, unhelpful way (e.g., snap back, roll eyes, walk off).
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Rewind. This time, pause and think: “What thorn might be hurting them?” Then respond in a kinder way (offer help, give space, use a calm voice).
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Quick share back (2–3 min):
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Invite 1–2 groups to perform their short scene for the class (if time).
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Ask the audience: “What do you think the thorn was?” and “Which response worked better – roaring back or thinking about the thorn?”
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C. Discussion – “Seeing the Thorn, Not Just the Roar” (7–8 minutes)
Use these questions to guide a circle discussion:
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How did it feel to act grumpy because of a hidden thorn?
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How did it feel to have someone try to understand your thorn instead of getting angry back?
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Why do you think Ibn Sina said we have an inside part that others cannot see?
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Can you think of a real situation (at home or at school) where someone’s anger might actually come from another problem?
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Does understanding the idea of the “lion’s thorn” mean we should let people treat us badly? (Guide pupils: we can still set boundaries and say “That tone hurts me,” and also remember there might be a thorn.)
D. Plenary – Personal “Lion’s Thorn Pledge” (3–5 minutes)
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Ask pupils to complete one or both of these sentence starters on paper:
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“When someone is grumpy with me, I will try to remember…”
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“One kind thing I can do when I notice a ‘lion’s thorn’ is…”
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Invite a few volunteers to share (if they feel comfortable).
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Close with a reminder:
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“We can’t always see other people’s thorns, and it’s not our job to fix everything. But we can choose not to roar back. We can choose to pause, wonder, and respond with kindness.”
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3. Discussion Questions (for Ages 8–12)
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Why do you think people often believe that someone’s anger is their fault?
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In the story of Androcles and the lion, how did the truth about the lion’s thorn change the way Androcles saw the lion?
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What are some “invisible thorns” that children your age might have? What about adults?
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How can remembering Ibn Sina’s idea of an “inside” and an “outside” help you be more understanding when people act grumpy?
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Is there a time when you wished someone had noticed your thorn instead of just your “roar”? What happened?
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What is one practical thing you could do this week if a parent, teacher or friend seems in a bad mood?